I have started writing a book. It is extremely rough at this juncture and I would welcome criticism. I have introduced a character, but I have not identified him as of yet. This is by design because he has amnesia. Take a look at what I have so far and tell me what you think. Thanks!
The dry, papery rustling of swirling leaves woke him as he lay face down on the soft powdery soil of the forest floor. Every move sending pulsing waves of pain coursing through his body as he began to push himself to an upright position to gain a bearing of these unknown surroundings.
As he surveyed the sparsely wooded area, he realized didn’t recognize anything, or how he got here, and then he begin to panic when the realization hit him: I don’t know who I am.
The feeling was surreal to him as though upon regaining consciousness he was not merely waking up but being born.
As he looked from tree to tree, he could discern the differences in their coverings and height, but he was unable to actually identify a single type of tree. His amnesia was so complete; it was almost literally as if his memory had been erased. Just as a baby cries, as the chill of their new world envelopes them—so did he. Before long, he began to shake uncontrollably as he lost himself in the absolute isolation of his blank mind.
Slowly his sobbing began to wane as he decided that sitting here feeling sorry for the loss of something he didn’t remember, while sad, didn’t make much sense.
Without much to go on, he picked a direction that felt “right” to him, and set off to find anything to help him regain his lost memory.
As he walked, his bare feet found every sharp stone as surely as his bare flesh was being lacerated by every branch, briar, and shrub as he made his way. His feet were throbbing with pain as he continued walking, but he felt compelled to continue on, as though some mystical force was pushing him.
After what seemed an eternity, he came across a small structure that appeared out of place when compared to everything else he’d encountered. The structure was flat and box-like with openings that allowed him to see inside. He approached this new phenomenon with caution and apprehension. He slowed his pace until he was close enough to touch the structure and then paused.
He stopped and realized that he was shaking. He was afraid of what he would find, because this new structure wasn’t completely visible, many parts remained out of sight and this gave him an intense foreboding.